Liverbest; Nancy Silverton and Chi Spacca's Ryan DeNicola Take A Humble Food To New Heights

For decades, maybe even for a century,. liverwurst has been the laughing stock of the gourmet world, a mashed-up concoction that even it's punch line cousin - Chopped liver -  seemed to distance itself from. 

But, this week that all changed when one of the humblest of foods found itself on the menu of Nancy Silverton's chi Spacca accompanied by, get this,  yet another hackneyed food item that will soon be heading for bright lights; the potato pancake.

This reporter - recently embedded with an elite Mozza unit on the heralded Corner of Highland and Melrose - got a rare inside glimpse at the making of a dish. This is the often harrowing tale of how the potato pancake and a disc of liverwurst ended up together on the menu of one of America's greatest restaurants.

It's three hours before service at chi Spacca, the smallest and most muscular of the Mozza restaurants on the Corner.  Chef Ryan DeNicola is looking down at three golden brown potato pancakes with line cook Tyler Vidal.   They taste all three and deem them fine.

But, now, Ryan explains to Tyler the single most important lesson to be learned on the Corner; Nancy Silverton will not be satisfied with this effort. She will send them back to the ateiier. Nancy is never satisfied with a first effort. Or a sixth. There is improvement to be found with more work.. Even when it is outstanding, it has to get better.

And sure enough, Ryan and Tyler take the three, five-inch diameter pancakes over to Osteria Mozza where Silverton is getting ready for a night behind the Mozzarella Bar. She tastes them. They're all good. But, with Nancy,. good don't cut it. 

Now, back to the liverwurst.  

When asked if she helped Ryan with the liverwurst, Nancy Silverton replied, "Oh, pleeease. What do you think?"

The spark for transforming liverwurst into liverbest occurred in Philly at MIchael Solomanov's Rooster Soup Co.. Nancy and James Beard award-winning pastry chef Dahlia Narvaez ordered the fried Lebanon baloney sandwich. Nancy asked how they managed to get baloney from Lebanon.  "Lebanon. Pennsylvania" she was told. Makes sense, There's no baloney in real Lebanon.

It was like a fried baloney sandwich, but thicker. and it gives  Nancy the spark that liverwurst might be worth revisiting. Shape it into a thick medallion and fry it. Worth a shot. After all, this is the woman who took the humble grilled cheese sandwich halfway to heaven.

Back on the corner, Ryan got on it with enthusiasm.  He got his version of liverwurst to a point where anyone familiar with that stuff in a tube would not recognize it.  It's pork liver, pork fat, pork meat. salt, onion. black pepper, cardamon, ginger,, oregano and mace.  (It should be noted that this "mace" is one the so-called "winter spices", not  the mace used by the LAPD.). 

Then this hockey puck is fried. 

Two days later after the first - failed - potato pancake tryout, , Nancy is beaming. She has figured it out with the help of consultant Jess "Don't Call Me Jesse" - Eleven, the only employee on the Corner to admit to have made a potato pancake.  In addition to using a classic chrome box grater ( think cheese) a mandolin was brought in to obtain large potato pieces for creaminess. Onions, white and green, brought color and more flavor. Then, the traditional Jewish favorite got what it needed. bacon. Ecco! 

The result?  Behold chi Spacca's "Fried DeNicola" liverbest  over "Nancy's 2 Grater"  Potato Pancake with bacon. "It's gonna be at all the Jewish delis," says Nancy. .   

No one's laughing at liverwurst anymore.. 

LAPD To Increase Patrols Along Sunset Blvd. During Annual Feldmeier Bros. "Sip 'n Stumble"; Mass Protests Expected

In an effort to assuage public outrage over Saturday's Los Angeles City Council-approved Pub Crawl led by two Assyrian brothers, the LAPD announced it would increase both foot and horse-mounted patrols along the Sunset Boulevard route of what has been called "a drunken stumble of debauchery and arguments."

Reversing himself on a campaign promise, Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti said he is bound constitutionally to allow the controversial "Cultural Stroll" along Sunset from Western Avenue to Downtown. However, in Friday's closed session of the City Council, Garcetti said he hopes it "rains like dogs and cats Saturday and the sip 'n stumble is canceled", according to sources..  

Both organizers of the pub crawl, where attendees stop at a bar for a drink then walk to the next bar for another until they reach Union Station, professed bewilderment over the negative response to the upcoming event. 

"I don't get the big uproar over a few guys having a beer or two and walking along one of the most famous streets in the world," said Chris Feldmeier, who, along  with his brother Duke, is organizing the event. "You would think people would welcome a group of culturally minded men who enjoy the city's incredibly diverse cultures and will not be on the roads driving."

The route will go through Little Armenia, Thai Town. Filipino Town, Michoacan North, Dodger Stadium South, Echo Park, and Chinatown. 

Duke Feldmeier, a professor of anthropology and Chris's brother, said the "stroll" will give participants "a ground-level view of some of the most vibrant cultures in the city. It is one thing to drive by and see the diversity, it is a completely different and enthralling experience to walk among the cultures."

Still,many weren't buying it.

"Cultural stroll, my ass, it's a sip 'n stumble if I every heard one," said Rabbi Golda Strichmarcs, who will lead a protest march at the point in the walk where  participants are expected to reach .20 blood alcohol level, (two-and-a-half times the legal limit). "Well, if you consider vomiting on public monuments cultural, then I guess it is accurately named."

In addition to a heavy LAPD, the FBI will be monitoring the "walk".  David Chang, Special Agent in Charge of the Los Angeles Field office, said it was a "no brainer"  the FBI would have an interest in the march  "Look at the guy in the photo below. He's the poster boy for a mid-level Al Qaeda commander." 

Meanwhile. Philippines president Rodrigo Duterte has offered to send a  representative, Francis Sebastian, to "represent Manila with all the class, curiosity  and open-mindedness for which we are famous." 

Both Feldmeiers rejected outright Duterte's offer. 

"I want to have fun," said Chris Feldmeier, "I do not, repeat, do not. want a two-hour lecture on Genghis Khan."

The list of announced walkers reads like a who's who of rambling drunks with opinions so fixed it would take a car bomb to dislodge them. One of them, Ken Epstein  - a Jew from Australia, which automatically makes him suspicious -. is perhaps best known - and loathed - for a Facebook comment that seemed to indicate he did not think Donald J. Trump is one of the five worst people in recorded history.

At press time, it was not known if Epstein's chief Facebook opponents, Ralph Waxman and Murray Rubinstein, would partake in the sip'n stumble. I mean Cultural Stroll.   

"I Have No Further Questions" - The People vs. The Mozza Journalist

                                                          "I HAVE NO FURTHER QUESTIONS"

ACT 1

EXT. LOS ANGLES CRIMINAL COURTS BUILDNG, DOWNTOWN - DAY
Throngs walk into the 20-story building. A man tosses a L.A. Times into a trash can. 

CLOSE - THE NEWSPAPER
The headline reads “Trial of Mozza Journalist Missing Deadline Begins”

INT. COURTROOM 112, 9TH FLOOR. ON A PLAQUE READS “JUDGE LANCE ITO”. 
Judge Lance Ito is presiding. Deputy District Attorney Marcia Clark approaches the witness stand where Michael Krikorian sits. At the defense table sits Johnnie Cochran. There is no jury as this is a bench trial, aka a trial by judge.

                                                                                CLARK
                                            Would you state to the courtroom your occupation? 
                                                                                KRIKORIAN
                                            I work at The Corner.
                                                                                CLARK
                                            Could you be less vague?
                                                                               COCHRAN
                                            Objection. She’s being combative. Some things don’t change. 
                                                                                ITO
                                            Overruled. The defendant will answer the question. 
                                                                               KRIKORIAN
                                            I work for Nancy Silverton on the corner of Highland and Melrose. 
                                                                               CLARK
                                            What is your position there?
                                                                               KRIKORIAN
                                            I am a Special Forces Oerator. I have a wide variety of                                                                                                                       tasks, some of which I cannot talk about.
                                                                               CLARK
                                            Okay, Mr. Mysterio. But, isn't it true you also work for one                                                                                                                 Christine Larroucau?
                                                                               KRIKORIAN
                                            If she needs me, I’m there. 
                                                                               CLARK
                                           And isn’t it true she often needs you to write up the fabled                                                                                                                Mozza Employee of the Month Award for, as you call it, “The Corner”?
                                                                              KRIKORIAN
                                          I’ve helped her, yes.
                                                                              CLARK
                                          You’re being modest, Mr. Krikorian Isn’t it true                                                                                                                                     you actually write most of them? 

Marcia Clark takes out a briefcase and pulls out a several sheets of paper. 

                                                                              CLARK (CONT’D)
                                          I’d like to submit these.
She hands the papers to a clerk. 
                                                                              CLARK (CONT’D)
                                          Submission People’s 1. These are at least seven                                                                                                                                 Employee on the Month awards you have written.                                                                                                                             To wit, Corina, Luis, Miguel, Cole, Jason...  
                                                                              COCHRAN
                                          Objection. Your honor, where is this going? This man is a                                                                                                                   Special Forces Operator who happens to be able to                                                                                                                         write. Is that a crime?
                                                                               CLARK
                                          May I proceed, your honor?
                                                                                ITO
                                          Proceed. 
                                                                               CLARK
                                          And in all of these profiles, or whatever you call them,                                                                                                                       you are always on time. You meet deadline. You're a journalist                                                                                                         in your other life. Isn’t that true?
                                                                                ITO
                                          Miss Clark, get to the point
                                                                               KRIKORIAN
                                          I’ll answer it. Yes. I’m a deadline journalist. 
                                                                              CLARK
                                          Now I would like to go back a couple months. Isn’t it true                                                                                                                 on or about February 27, this Miss Larroucau informed you of                                                                                                           the next two employees of the month? One being a Jason. 
                                                                              KRIKORIAN
                                         Who?
                                                                             CLARK. 
                                         Jason the Osteria Mozza server.
                                                                             KRIKORIAN
                                         Oh, yeah. Yes. 
                                                                             CLARK
                                         And she also told you the next employee of the                                                                                                                                  month after Jason.
                                                                             KRIKORIAN
                                        Yes.
                                                                             CLARK
                                        Was that unusual for her to tell you two employees of the                                                                                                                 months at the same time?
                                                                             KRIKORIAN
                                        Yes.
                                                                             CLARK
                                        So you had a long time to finish the second one. Why were you,                                                                                                     a deadline reporter, late with this month’s Employee of the Month                                                                                                   Award? Why did you miss deadline?  
                                                                             KRIKORIAN
                                        I, uh, I wanted to make this special.
                                                                             CLARK. 
                                        Why?
                                                                             KRIKORIAN
                                        Well, it’s a honor to get this award. People like to be                                                                                                                         honored at work. It makes them feel good. 
                                                                             CLARK
                                        But, the past winners were honored, too. They must have been special.                                                                                         You were on time for them. Why did you miss this deadline? Who was                                                                                             the winner? Tell us.
                                                                             COCHRAN
                                        Objection. She’s badgering the defendant. 
                                                                             JUDGE ITO
                                        Overruled. Answer the question. 
                                                                             KRIKORIAN
                                       Well, when I heard who it was, I wanted to make it just a little extra special. 
                                                                             JUDGE ITO
                                       Krikorian, answer the damn question. Who was this                                                                                                                            month’s employee of the month?
                                                                             KRIKORIAN
                                      Eva.
END OF ACT ONE

ACT 2

INT. COURTROOM - DAY

Everyone is in place again.

                                                                            JUDGE ITO
                                      Miss Clark, call your witness.

Marcia Clark addresses the court.
                                                                            CLARK
                                      The People call Anna Nguyen. 
Anna takes the witness stand.
                                                                             CLARK (CONT’D)
                                       What do you do for a living?
                                                                             ANNA
                                       I work at the Mozzarella Bar with Nancy Silverton  at                                                                                                                          Osteria Mozza located on The Corner.                                                                                                                           
                                                                            CLARK
                                       Ah, the Corner, again. Must be fun. 
Marcia Clark takes a CD and approaches the judge.
                                                                            CLARK (CONT’D)
                                       Your honor the People would like to play this CD.

Krikorian leans over to Cochran.
                                                                             KRIKORIAN
                                         Sinatra? Coltrane?
                                                                            JUDGE ITO
                                         Miss Clark you can play the CD. 

The courtroom darkens and a large monitor plays a video.

THE VIDEO
Anna is at the South Side of the Mozzarella Bar with Osteria line cook Kirsten Mayell and the defendant.  

                                                                          ANNA
                                       So when is the next Employee of the Month?
                                                                         KRIKORIAN
                                       Wednesday. It will be turned in by 5 pm.
                                                                         KIRSTEN
                                       Who is it?
                                                                         KRIKORIAN
                                       Can’t say yet. Only my editor Chile Rico can announce it.  
                                                                         ANNA
                                       Have you ever missed a deadline for Chile Rico?
                                                                         KRIKORIAN
                                       Never.
                                                                         KIRSTEN
                                       Never ever?
                                                                         KRIKORIAN
                                       Never ever.

The video ends. The Courtroom lights come back on. 

                                                                         CLARK
                                        Do you know the date of the “Wednesday” the                                                                                 defendant refers to was April 4th?
                                                                         ANNA
                                        Yes. Something like that.
                                                                         CLARK
                                         Can you tell the courtroom what the date is today?
                                                                         ANNA
                                         I think it’s April 18th, 19th. Something like that.
                                                                         CLARK
                                         I have no further questions.

Johnnie Cochran approaches the witness. 
                                                                        COCHRAN
                                         Good afternoon, Miss Anna. You are looking quite                                                                                                                              lovely today.
                                                                         CLARK
                                         Objection. He’s flattering the witness to get her                                                                                                                                  on his side.
                                                                        JUDGE ITO
                                         Overruled. She does look good. Continue, Mister Cochran. 
                                                                        COCHRAN
                                        Thank you, your honor.  Now, do you know Eva?
                                                                        ANNA
                                        I know who she is. I don’t know her well. But, she seems                                                                                                                   awfully nice. 
                                                                       COCHRAN
                                        And Mr. Krikorian here, does he seem the type to hastily                                                                                                                   write something on a employee like this?
                                                                       CLARK
                                        Objection. The point of the trial is did he meet deadline,                                                                                                                   not if he wrote “Anna Karenina” about this Ava lady.
                                                                       KRIKORIAN
                                        Eva. Not Ava.
                                                                      JUDGE ITO
                                       The defendant will remain quiet when he is not on                                                                                                                             the stand,
                                                                      KRIKORIAN
                                        I was just righting a wrong..
                                                                      JUDGE ITO
                                       And any further outbursts and I will have the bailiffs                                                                                                                          restrain you. 
                                                                     JUDGE ITO (CONT’D)
                                       Continue, Mr. Cochran. 
                                                                     COCHRAN
                                       Have you read the last seven or so Employee of the Month                                                                                                              awards written mostly by my client?
                                                                     ANNA
                                       Yes. I’ve enjoyed them all. Even the people I don’t know. 
                                                                     COCHRAN
                                       I have no further questions.
                                                                     JUDGE ITO
                                       Miss Clark, your next witness?
                                                                     CLARK
                                       The People call Christine Larroucau.
Christine takes the stand
                                                                    CLARK (CONT’D)
                                       What do you do for a living?
                                                                    CHRISTINE
                                       I am the general manager of Pizzeria Mozza located...
                                                                    CLARK
                                       Wait. Don't tell me. Located on The Corner?

                                                                    CHRISTINE                                                                                                                                                                  That's correct.

                                                                    CLARK                                                                                                                                                                        And isn’t it true, among you many duties,  you are                                                                                                                              more or less in charge of the coveted Employee of                                                                                                                            the Month Award? 
                                                                    CHRISTINE
                                        I don’t decide it, but I am among several who vote.      
                                                                    CLARK
                                        But, you have the task of putting the award together,                                                                                                                         having it written, editing it, making the presentation                                                                                                                           and such. Isn’t that true?
                                                                   CHRISTINE
                                      Yes.
                                                                   CLARK
                                      And the title of the award is Employee of the Month,                                                                                                                         correct?
                                                                   COCHRAN
                                      Objection. Asked and answered. Already established.
                                                                   JUDGE ITO
                                      Overruled. Answer the question.
                                                                    CHRISTINE
                                      Yes, it is. 
                                                                    CLARK
                                      Are you aware that the last employee of the so-called                                                                                                                       “Month”, Jason, was honored around February 9th or                                                                                                                        thereabouts? 
                                                                   CHRISTINE
                                     I’m not sure the exact date, but something like that.
                                                                   CLARK
                                    And are you aware that today is April 19?
                                                                   CHRISTINE
                                    Something like that.
                                                                   CLARK
                                    So in your Mozza world does that mean the month                                                                                                                             of March does not exist?
                                                                   COCHRAN
                                    Objection She is badgering the witness.
                                                                   JUDGE ITO
                                    Overruled. Miss Larroucau, please answer the question.
                                                                   CHRISTINE
                                    March was a crazy month at Mozza. Nancy was gone a lot.                                                                                                               So was I. March went by in a blur. And let me just say that is not                                                                                                       unusual for more than a single month to go by without an Employee                                                                                               of the Month Award given out.
                                                                   CLARK
                                    Maybe you should rename the award the “Employee of the Every 9 Weeks”.                                                                                 I have no further.
                                                                  JUDGE ITO
                                    Mister Cochran?
Johnnie approaches the witness.
                                                                   COCHRAN.
                                    You sure look lovely today, Miss Larroucau.
                                                                   CLARK.
                                    Jesus Christ. I knew that was coming. Here we go again.
                                                                   JUDGE ITO
                                    Once again, I concur, Mister Cochran. 
                                                                    CLARK
                                    Like I didn’t know that.
                                                                    COCHRAN
                                    Now, though your legal and birth name is Christine Larroucau,                                                                                                         you are also known by many at The Corner by another name.                                                                                                         Isn’t that true?
                                                                   CHRISTINE.
                                    Yes. 
                                                                   COCHRAN
                                    And that name is Chile Rico, correct? 
                                                                   CHILE RICO
                                    Si. Yes.
                                                                   COCHRAN
                                    And who gave you that name?
                                                                   CHILE RICO
                                    Frank. I mean Michael

                                                                    COCHRAN
                                    And why is that your name, Miss Rico?
                                                                   CHILE RICO
                                    My father is from Chile, by way of Basque Spain and my mother                                                                                                       is from Puerto Rico.
                                                                   CLARK
                                    Objection.  What the hell does this woman’s geographical background                                                                                           have to do with the case? This man is charged with missing deadline,                                                                                             not giving this witness a nickname. 
                                                                   JUDGE ITO
                                    Overruled. Besides, Beside, I like the name Chile Rico.                                                                                                                     Continue, Mister Cochran.
                                                                   CLARK
                                    Good thing her father wasn’t from Madagascar and her mother from                                                                                               Uzbekistan.  
                                                                  JUDGE ITO
                                    Miss Clark. Please refrain from those type of comments. Mister                                                                                                       Cochran. 
                                                                  COCHRAN. 
                                    Now, Miss Rico,  you and the defendant, Mr. Krikorian,  when you                                                                                                     two text, it’s in, like, a special code. 
                                                                 CHILE RICO.
                                    It’s bit complicated. But, it’s a mix of Spanish, English,  some slang                                                                                                   and, ocassionally, a little French. 
                                                                 CLARK
                                    Objection. Irrelevant. What the hell does that have to do with this                                                                                                   case? They could text each other in Swahili and it would not matter                                                                                                 to this case. 
                                                                COCHRAN
                                    Your honor, if I am allowed to continue this line of questioning, it                                                                                                      will become obvious as to the relevance of this special language. 
                                                                JUDGE ITO
                                    Proceed. But, I’m warning you, Mister Cochran. get to the point quickly. 

Cochran produces a cell phone. 
                                                                COCHRAN
                                    Your honor, I’d like to admit this cell phone into the proceedings. 
                                                                JUDGE ITO
                                    Granted.
                                                                COCHRAN
                                    This is the defendant’s phone.

Johnnie takes the phone, pushes some buttons and it is displayed on the monitor for all to see. 

On the monitor reads. 
MICHAEL -‘LO SIENTO HAVE NOT GOT TU EVA
CHILE - NO ES UN PROBLEMA
CHILE - TIENES ALL LE TIEMPOS
MICHAEL - TU KNOW YO QUERER TO DO THIS UNO RIGHT

The monitor is turned off.  

Johnnie Cochran approaches Chile Rico again.
                                                                COCHRAN (CONT’D)
                                    Can you translate this?
                                                                CHILE RICO
                                    Michael is telling me he’s sorry for not having sent me the latest                                                                                                      Employee of the Month Award, which is for Eva,
                                                               COCHRAN
                                     And these lines from you, first “No es un problema”                                                                                                                          followed by a "Tienes all le tiempo“. 
                                                               CHILE RICO
                                    That it is “not a problem” and to “take all the time”.
                                                               COCHRAN
                                    I’m sorry, Miss Rico. Could you repeat that. 
                                                               CHILE RICO
                                    It’s not a problem, take all the time
                                                               COCHRAN
                                   Your honor, I have no further questions.
                                                              JUDGE ITO
                                   Miss Clark, your next witness.
                                                              CLARK
                                   I think the People have proved without a shadow of a doubt                                                                                                            that defendant is guilty as charged of not meeting deadline.                                                                                                            The people rest.
END OF ACT 2

ACT 3
The courtroom fills up again after a brief recess.  

                                                             JUDGE ITO
                                    Mister Cochran. Would you like to call any witnesses?
                                                             COCHRAN
                                    Only one witness, your honor. 
                                                             JUDGE ITO.
                                   Proceed then.
                                                             COCHRAN
                                   The defense calls Eva Gallner. 

A slight gasp goes through the courtroom gallery.

Eva Gallner walks in the courtroom doors, rather struts in.  High heels and, surprisingly, a stunning Marni dress. She walks by a stylish woman in the gallery. The woman grabs Eva’s wrist as she walks by and whispers to her. 
                                                              WOMAN
                                     Don’t spill any Budweiser on Nancy’s dress.

Eva continues to the witness stand. Johnnie Cochran and Judge Ito look at each other and nod. Marcia Clark rolls her eyes. Eva looks at Michael.
                                                               EVA
                                      Hi, Frank. 
                                                               MICHAEL
                                      Hi, Olive.
                                                               CLARK
                                      Jesus Christ! Objection. This is a courtroom of law,                                                                                                                             not Pizzeria Mozza. We're not on the goddamn Corner!
                                                               JUDGE ITO
                                      Miss Clark, relax.   Mister Cochran, proceed.
                                                               JOHNNIE COCHRAN
                                      Good afternoon, Miss Gallner.
                                                               EVA
                                      Hello, Mister Johnnie.
Johnnie Cochran smiles big.
                                                              COCHRAN
                                      I have no further questions.
The courtroom gallery is stunned.
                                                              JUDGE ITO
                                      What do you mean? You haven’t even asked                                                                                                                                       a single question of this witness. Your only witness.
                                                              COCHRAN
                                      Your honor, I don’t need to. Anyone can plainly see that                                                                                                                   this lady here would require an extra week or so to                                                                                                                           properly write an Employee of the Month Award.                                                                                                                               The defense rests.
                                                           JUDGE ITO
                                       Your call. Miss Clark. Any cross examination? 
                                                           MARICA CLARK
                                       Oh, what’s the point? I have no questions.
                                                          JUDGE ITO
                                       Sidebar.
Johnnie Cochran, Marcia Clark and Judge Ito confer for about 20 seconds then the two lawyers go back to their tables.
                                                          JUDGE ITO (CONT’D)
                                       Since the defendant asked for judge trial, not jury trial, I have quickly reached a verdict.  

The tension rises in the courtroom.

                                                          JUDGE ITO (CONT’D)
                                        The defendant shall rise.

Krikorian and his lawyer stand up.

                                                         JUDGE ITO (CONT’D)
                                         I, the judge, find the defendant, Michael “Frank” Krikorian                                                                                                                guilty of the crime of missing deadline.
The courtroom gasps.
                                                         JUDGE ITO (CONT’D)
                                          And I hereby sentence you to 10 years on The Corner.
                                                        KRIKORIAN
                                          Hmmp.  I could do another 10.

 Eva does that Kirk Gibson double clutch. Krikorian, Johnnie, the entire gallery, all the witnesses, they all loudly cheer!            Even Marcia Clark smiles.

                                                                    THE END

johnnie cochran dashing to the trial of the century 

Secretary of State Tillerson Would "Likely Approve" Kate Green's Rumored Passport Application; Many in Congress Protest

Breaking with the policy of five previous presidential administrations, Secretary of State Rex W. Tillerson is said to be leaning toward approving a passport application  Kate Elizabeth Green is rumored to be applying for this summer, sources said. 

Tillerson, speaking in Moscow, said that approving the passport and thereby allowing Green to leave the country "might be good for America."  When CNN's Anderson Cooper asked him "how?", Tillerson replied, "We all love Kate Green, but a little break from her might not be such a bad thing."

That singular comment drew the ire of many on both sides of the congressional aisle, including Adam Schiff, (D-Calif) who blasted Tillerson for even considering such a move. "We are at a crucial moment in history in terms of the perception America gives to the rest of the world. Do we really want Kate Green traispsing around western Europe, drunk, flirting with every other man in sight. and talking shit about her own country?  I sure don't."

Green, who was born in Modesto in 1985, first applied for a passport shortly her 3rd birthday during the last full year of Ronald Reagan's second term.  

Reagan was the first president to publicly announce he would not allow Green to leave the country.  Speaking at an impromptu press conference on the White House lawn, Reagan said "Look, I've seen a photo of her throwing Watts gang signs. She's three!. Do we want her in Europe representing America. Well, friends, I don't."

Reagan's successor, George H W Bush, followed suit though rarely spoke about the issue in public.

When she 13 and 15, Bill Clinton rejected Green's passport application both times.  In their tell-all book about Clinton, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein wrote "Bill told us he rejected her application twice, but, and this is a direct quote 'If she ever wants to intern for me, I'll sign on the dotted. line.  Move over, Monica'."

In April, 22, 2003, on her 18th birthday, George W. Bush said that "approving a passport for Kate Green during our liberation of Iraq could send out a mixed signal to the rest of the world that we, America, are all about debauchery . That's not right message at this time."

Barack Obama was rumored to be leaning toward approving Green's 2014 passport application, but in the end vetoed it. Washington insiders have long suspected the president's wife, Michelle, urged him to approve Kate Green's application simply because she didn't want Kate Green in the country. "Michelle didn't trust Barack to be alone with Kate Green..She still hates that photo of Barack with Kate Green and the Mozza staff at the Hancock Park event.

Meanwhile, Tillerson, with the full backing of President Trump, told a group of reporters that there is only one obstacle to Kate Green obtaining a passport.

"President Trump and I agree there is only one impediment to Miss Green getting her passport," Tillerson said. "The only thing keeping her from going to the top of the Eiffel Tower, from walking through the rubble of Fallujah, or from simply having lunch at Osteria Francescana is Kate Green herself."

Kate Green plots a trip abroad

.  

Nancy Silverton Unveils "Super Ca-Racker" At Turin Auto Show

The longest line at the Turin Auto Show this year was not to glimpse the track-only  version of LaFerrari, nor was it the Merecdes W196 that Juan Manual Fangio raced to victory in the epic 1957 German Grand Prix at the Nurburgring.  It was not at a booth showing a bootleg of a 1951 "cinema provocative" starring a 16-year-old Sopia Loren, nor was it at the first time viewing of Julius Caesar's personal six-wheel chariot. 

No,  the longest line at the Turin  Auto Show was at a small food stand near the Jaguar booth where Nancy Silverton was handing out "Super Ca-Rackers" ( see below).

Silverton has not released the ingredients, but several noted food experts believe it was comprised of some kind of cracker, topped with some kind of cheese ( likely a bufala mozzarella from Tenuta Vannulo in Cappaccio Scalo in Campagna ), then  topped with some kind of ham, (likely culatello di Zibello from Massimo Spigaroli at Antica Corte  Pallavincina) then crowned with some British Racing Green sauce Nancy made. 

Although formal records of the statistical ratings of crackers in recorded history no longer exist, those who have had the Nancy Super Ca-Racker all say there likely would be no accurate comparison to it.  

A Man And His Flour; Franco Pepe's Respectful Return To Mozza

The  most profound moment during a long Sunday of pizza making at Mozza's Chi Spacca in Los Angeles occurred when Franco Pepe, the quiet, nearly mystical pizzaiola from Italy, started talking about his beloved flour, a special blend he developed.

"The flour is the most important thing," said Pepe, whose pizzeria, Pepe in Grani, located  in the ancient hilltop town of Caiazzo in Campagna, is widely considered to be the finest in all of Italy and is officially rated the second best pizzeria in the known world after Nancy Silverton's Pizzeria Mozza. "The flour is more important than me. If I were here without the flour, it would not be a special meal. If the flour was here without me,  this meal would still be special."

How respectful. How refreshing.  Here was a chef, a breed that traditionally needs their ego feed more than my dog Zeke at a burger bash,  relegating himself secondary to his ingredient.  But, it makes sense. Senna without wheels, Brando without a script, Sinatra without a sheet, Michelangelo low on marble.

Franco Pepe without flour?  It'd just be a bunch of toppings. We're all pro-toppings, but, in the end, they're just toppings.

Before Sunday's feast began, Nancy  brought Franco and his crew a few pastries and a couple chocolate chip cookies from our coffee spot, Go Get Em Tiger.  As the event came to an end nearly 14 hours later, Franco raved of those cookies. 

This morning I picked up five more cookies and took them to Franco at the house he was staying at on Beachwood north of Franklin. He appreciated no little.

"I'll come back for these cookies," he said through Luciano Furia, a photographer and his translator. "And for Nancy."

##

This is the story that helped establish a friendship between Nancy and Franco.   http://www.krikorianwrites.com/blog/2013/9/2/the-worlds-second-best-pizza

Last year there was drama as the flour went missing.   http://www.krikorianwrites.com/blog/2015/11/19/la-magnifica-saga-di-farina-di-franco-pepe

Nancy Silverton Reacts to 50-Foot Border Wall; Unveils Plans To Build 51-Foot Ladder With al Pastor Tacos, Paletas, Umbrian Reds

Nancy Silverton, the only person ever to win the James Beard Award for both outstanding chef in America and outstanding pastry chef, unveiled her most ambitious project yet Thursday morning; a 51-foot " Moveable Feast Ladder " that can be placed wherever there are walls designed to keep out people seeking a better life.

Silverton, standing before an artist's rendition of the ladder, said what will distinguish the "Moveable Feast Ladder" will be the quality of the cuisine offered at various steps along the way to the summit and - hopefully - to that better life.

"Most ladders the food is not that good," Silverton told a jam-packed press conference at "The Corner",  aka Highland and Melrose in Hollywood South. "Yeah, you can sometimes get a decent sandwich on a ladder. maybe a beer, but nothing memorable. My ladder is going to be the first ladder with a Michelin star." 

The first Moveable Feast Ladder ( MFL) will likely be located somewhere near either Ciudad Juarez or North Tijuana.   

However,  almost immediately, critics of the MFL began denouncing it, with many saying the ladder  was a blatant attempt by Silverton to thwart the efforts of President Donald J. Trump ( did I just type that?) to stop the influx of Mexicans into his beloved California.

"First of all, most of the Mexicans in Los Angeles work at Mozza anyway, so,  for Silverton, the more Mexicans here, the larger the worker pool," said Betsy DaVos, Trump's lame-ass Secretary of Education. "And doesn't that silly woman realize if she puts food on a ladder that potential grizzly bears would be attracted to it?  I sure the hell hope she has armed guards on her stupid MFL."

Others scoffed at the notion the food would be good enough on the MFL to garner a Michelin star.  One vocal opponent was Kelly Anne Conway, who, at this point, doesn't need much of an introduction. 

"I seriously doubt Michelin would rate a ladder - even with one terrific food -  because they don't give out stars to restaurants or ladders that move," said Conway. 

Dismissing critics, Silverton said the 51-foot high ladder would be an-even-more impressive 15-feet, 5 inches wide. The plans are for steps to be placed at a 4 inches attitudal  progression  and, therefore, be a 153-step affair. 

At step 36 ( 12 feet elevation) there will be a relatively small "Mezza Landing" featuring  "Dips of the World" from Armenia, Syria, Lebanon, Israel, Chechnya, Mexico and others nations known for their dips.

At Step 90 ( 30 feet elevation ) the headline grabbing "Taco Station" will featuring primarily al pastor in both tacos and occasionally quesadillas with tortillas provided by Burritos La Palma in El Monte.. In addition, there will be weekly specials from guest chefs including Chris Feldmeier, Dominique Crenn, Elizabeth Falkner, Suzanne Tracht, Dahlia Narvaez, Ryan Vito Denicola, Jonathan Waxman, Suzanne Goin, Jose Andres, Bryant Ng, Massimo Bottura and Chapo Guzman's personal chef, Luis Ramirez.

Just three feet above at Step 99 will be the Wine Platform which will featuring reds from Silverton's native Umbria including her beloved Montefalco di Sagrantino Pagliaro of Paolo Bea and the stunning Vermino vermouth of David Rosoff.  As of press time, there were no plans to serve hard alcohol or beer or even white wines. However, a source close to Mozza said Silverton's aide-de-camp, Kate Elizabeth Green, is currently in negotiations with renowned Chablis producer Jean-Marie Raveneau. 

Silverton would neither confirm or deny rumors that for the grand opening renowned restaurateur Caroline Styne would donate a Nebuchadnezzar of 1947 Chateau Cheval Blanc. 

Near the summit, at Step 141 ( 47 foot elevation) at "Top Pops", Nancy will be offering paletas made from primarily from Chino Ranch fruit. 

There will be no charge for food or wine for those who go over the wall as, in Silverton's words "Those dreamers will need every buck they can to figure out how to get down on the other side".  If patrons simply go up the wall for the food and wine, and come back down, there will be a $100 charge, service not included.

At the press conference Silverton was confronted by an reporter from Fox News who asked "What good will your 51 foot ladder be once they figure it out and make it a 70 foot wall?

Silverton smiled and said "Not a problemo. When they go high, we go underneath.  Tunnels, my amigo, tunnels."

artist Mike rembrandt's rendition of Nancy Silverton's Moveable feast ladder. (LaFerrarri and P1 mclaren drawn to scale)

Two Michelin Stars Awarded to Restaurant in San Escobar Owned by Ex Delta Force Commando

When outsiders think of San Escobar they usually imagine rolling waves lapping onto white sand beaches. the soothing warmth of the sun hovering like a quilt and a quaint main street with colonial architecture, diagonal parking, a hardware store run by the same family for 85 years and a movie theater that shows one film a week and sells popcorn tossed with freshly-churned local butter for $3 a carton.

And that's exactly what recently former United States Army Special Operations Forces Sgt. Murray Rubinstein discovered two years ago on his first trip to the island country of 13,000 people  that - until last week - was somewhat of a "secret island nation",  located 100 kilometers off the coast of east Belize.

"After what I had been doing for more than a decade, San Escobar was paradise found, so I decided to move here and open a little restaurant," Rubinstein said via Skype early Sunday morning. "Who knew?"

What Murray was "who knewing" about was the news that broke Saturday that his "little restaurant", 'il Pierogi Palace" had been awarded two coveted Michelin stars, the first restaurant in the Southwest hemisphere to be so honored by the prestigious guide.

"I thought it was a joke when I got the Skype call from Michelin," said Rubinstein. "He looked like a drunk and sounded like a comedian doing an over-the-top French accent. But, then, just when I was about to disconnect, Joel Robuchon stood next to him and I knew it was for real."

Rubinstein lived in the "unreal" for many years. Born and raised in a 99.7% black neighborhood of North Philadelphia he said he had to prove himself early in life.  "Look, I grew up on 21st and Montgomery and my name was Murray Rubinstin. It might as well as been Jewy Jew. I had to fight back or be squashed. I took my share of ass whuppins', but I earned respect. I learned a lot from the corner boys." 

 After the 2001 September 11 attacks, Rubinstein joined the Army and within a year he was a member of the 101st Airborne Division. After a year in Afghanistan, he was sent for further training at Fort Bragg and was made a member of the Army's zultra-elite Delta Force.

"Dude, I can't begin to tell you what I did in Delta for a few reasons, one of them being I was drunk most of the time", said Rubinstein who has been sober for more than two years except for drinking malt liquor.  "I can say I was in Fallujah and Ramadi in Iraq,  Tora Bora in Afghanistan, Benghazi in Libya, South Bangui in the Central African Republic and Watts in Los Angeles. And believe me, I was not whistling Dixie. My deployment was a never ending  "Trouble in River City",

The trouble looks like it is over now.   

Before opening Murray trained at Osteria Mozza in Los Angeles,  one of the revered restaurants of living legend Nancy Silverton.  It was from Silverton that Rubinstein learned the sweet - and savory - science of dough-making.

"Il Pierogi Palace " opened to rave reviews in the local papers and word spread to savvy foodies. His pierogis, made with both the traditional unleavened and radical leavened dough, are, in the words, of  influential French restaurant critic Marcel "Puff" Duvlaueax, "Like eating a cumulus clouds filled with earthly delights."

The most popular pierogis are filled night-caught local fish including trout, white snapper, and overweight sea shrimp.

"MIchielin stars or not, I will be the same," said Rubinstien ho vowed that half of the 35 seats of his restaurant will be for locals. "That's what? Let's see. That's 17 and a half seats for my new peeps. I believe I as born for this opportunity."

Obama Calls Osteria Mozza's Sommelier Andrey Tolmachyov "A Great Somm, Lousy Spy"; Won't Deport

When new broke Thursday that President Barack Obama had had ordered 35 Russian spies posing as diplomats to leave the country within 72 hours, wine professionals in Los Angeles immediately began texting each other. The subject of their messages? One Andrey Tolmachyov, the highly-regarded sommelier at Osteria Mozza on "The Corner" who has long been suspected by the FBI of spying for the Kremlin.

"Will Stoli Rocks be deported?' many of the texts wondered, using a Tolmachyov's endearing nickname.

Friday afternoon, the White House released a statement clarifying what has become known as "The WineSpyGate Matter". 

"To set aside rumors, President Obama asked me to clarify the issue of Andrey "Stoli Rocks" Tolmachyov,"  said White House press secretary Josh Earnest who then read from a prepared statement. "The question is not if Andrey Tolmachyov is or is not a spy. Tolmachyov is, indeed, a Russian spy. No doubts about. However, he is such an inept spy that we feel it is in the best interests of the United States to keep him here. Let him spy badly and report - inaccurately -  back to Putin. Another reason he should stay is Tolmachyov is actually a superb sommelier. He turned Michelle on to Giacosa's Falletto Riserva and now that's all she talks about. And after hearing her talk policy for years, that's a good thing."

According to a high ranking member of the Central Intelligence Agency, Tolmachyov would send top secret encrypted wine labels to Moscow. (See below) "But, he would be so fucked up, he would invariably put in bad information which is fine with us," said the official who spoke on the condition of anonymity..  

Tolmachyov's boss, Nancy Silverton, is in a remote, internet-less village in Italy and could not be reached for comment.

However, Kate Elizabeth Green, Silverton's spokesperson,  said "Nancy could give a fuck about spying. As long as he keep pouring that good vino rosso, that's all that matters. And Stoli Rocks can pour, believe me."

Calls to Tolmachyov, who is actually from Kazakhstan, were  not returned. His girlfriend, Regina Volk, a native of Tashkent, Uzbekistan, is said to be in hiding.